Bleeding

Listening to “Can’t be you” by Joy

I lie here. Eyes awake. Heart heavy. Wishing I could sleep. Sometimes I wonder. Is it my heart speaking? Or my head? A voice inside tells me to let go of you. That there will be only heartache and disappointment. And yet a part of me is holding on. So tightly. Willing things to work. Wishing things to work. But alas, we are not connected any longer. We live on love from times past. Fueling us with memories. I keep coming back to this same conclusion of needing to let go. And I will bleed. Pulling the knife out always hurts. Maybe not as much as when it went in..but that was unexpected. This isn’t. Watching the blood drain. The life force we shared spill out. I couldn’t be the one holding it all.